Martha's Must Have

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Martha's Must Have is an episode of Martha Speaks (TV series).


It begins on a rainy day. Martha, Helen and Skits are watching TV when a clap of thunder scares the dogs under the table and they almost knock over Helen's glass of a yellow liquid (probably lemonade), but she catches it in time. The dogs have their front paws over their eyes but uncover them when Courageous Collie Carlo (TV show) comes on. Helen says that watching Courageous Collie Carlo is like being with other dogs. Martha says that it would be if TV had smell. After Courageous Collie Carlo and his dog friends save a young boy, an ad comes on for a blue dog collar with a picture of Carlo on the tag. Helen notes that she doesn't really want a dog like Courageous Collie Carlo and that "Courageous Collie Carlo collar" sounds like a tongue twister. Martha attempts to say it five times fast and succeeds as the spokesperson says the collar is made of "genuine luxurious knock-off leather hide". Helen wonders what "knock-off leather" is.

Later, Helen takes an apple out of the fruit bowl, wondering who would spend that much on a collar and why it costs so much. Martha and Skits seem sad so Helen gives them a biscuit each. This cheers them up. They then walk back into the living room. They look out the window and Martha wonders if it's expensive because it's made of "genuine knock-off leather hide", and Helen says that she doesn't think that's the reason as she's pretty sure knock-off leather is artificial. Martha asks if "artificial" means "expensive". Helen says no, turns around, and explains the actual meaning of "artificial". Then, Skits falls asleep and Helen puts her feet on Martha's tummy. Helen then takes out a squirrel toy and says it looks like a squirrel but isn't a real one as it's an artificial squirrel and an imitation. She throws it and the dogs go off to fetch it. Skits catches it and Martha saunters back into the living room saying it's a pretty good imitation. Helen says she doesn't feel that a dog collar could be worth all that money. Martha scratches, saying that the only thing collars are good for is holding your tags and getting rid of scratching. Helen scratches Martha's neck. "Who would ever buy one?".

Later, in the park, Francois is in the park with one of the collars. "Francois, that's who!", says Martha, who is nearby with Helen and Skits. Martha thinks Francois is gullible for falling for a marketing gimmick but changes her mind when an old lady feeds him a biscuit.

Then, Helen and her dogs walk home while Martha says that according to Francois the collar gets him free food all the time. She then imagines herself in a Courageous Collie Carlo collar and getting free food. She thinks that all that food would be so cool she wants the collar herself. She then runs to catch up with Helen and Skits.

At the pet store, Helen disallows it. Martha asks why and Helen says it's cheap. Martha says that she thought it was expensive and Helen says it is but the word cheap can also mean it costs more than it's worth or is made badly. Martha asks if some slippers were cheap as they fell apart when she chewed them and Helen says no, they were just not made for chewing. They walk off.

In the Lorraine family kitchen, Helen, while doing the dishes, says that she is not going to spend that much money on a bogus collar. Martha says she doesn't want a collar for "a bogus" but a dog. Helen explains what bogus means and explains that "knock-off leather" is bogus because it is completely made up. Martha still wants free food, but has run out of leverage so resorts to saying "Please, please, please" while Helen is on her way to school, doing her homework, and in bed, but Helen just ignores her (and she finds it pretty annoying).

The next day, Helen is taking a nap at the cafe. Martha is also taking a nap but Skits is awake. T.D. comes over. He asks why Helen is sleeping and why Martha, who just told him "no fair" is so sulky. Helen wakes up, now having got enough sleep, and explains about Martha's begging. T.D. asks why she doesn't just buy one. Martha sides with T.D. Helen while rubbing Martha's ears, explains that they want a crazy amount of money. She then kisses Martha's nose. T.D. suggests they make a phoney collar that looks just like it. Martha says that a phone doesn't look like a collar as it has no place to hang your tag. T.D. says that "phone" and "phoney" are different and explains the meaning of "phoney". She asks if a phoney collar would fool people into feeding her and he says it's worth a try.

They try in the park but the old lady just gets scared (probably because she wasn't expecting a talking dog).

At home, Martha is scratching and it falls off. She says only the real one works. Helen, who is doing her homework while T.D. is doing his, says the real collar is too expensive. Martha says "If you loved me you'd buy me that collar", and Helen is very frustrated. T.D. says to the dogs that he can empathise as there is a lot of stuff he wants that his parents won't buy for him as they suggest he buy them himself. Martha says dogs don't have money. T.D. says neither do kids unless they do chores. Martha wants to do chores to earn money.

She fetches Mr Parkington's newspaper along with someone else's. She then retrieves Danny's slippers and puts away Jake's toys, the latter being a bit of a drag as he keeps throwing them out and doesn't pay.

Martha then tries to clean the kitchen floor by licking it. T.D., who's visiting, agrees that the floor is shiny but it's still covered in slobber.

In the garden, Martha tries to help Daniel clean up the leaves but they break in her mouth. They manage to do it with Skits' help but then the wind blows the leaves away.

Martha then gives people (mainly children, including T.D. and Celeste massages by walking on them). Helen finds this obnoxious.

Finally, Martha has saved up enough to buy the collar. They go to the park, but the couple are repulsed by Martha because she is scratching and they think she has fleas.

At Helen's house, Martha, who is wet, is angry because the collar didn't earn her free food. T.D. comes on his bike and asks how the new collar is. Martha answers "awful" and Helen explains that the artificial leather was too itchy and it stained Martha's fur so she had to give her a bath. Martha says that it didn't work and that people were just feeding Francois because he was cute. They then make put-out faces (possibly because they think Francois is spoiled enough as is.)

T.D. takes the collar and wants to save money, Martha calling him an "imitation dog".